Dust Effect
by Kriss1989
Summary: Yang has awoken on the Citadel. Wait, where's the Citadel? Space? What the flip? How did she get into space? Join Yang and Shepard as they travel through the gallaxy on a wild adventure to stop Saren and find Yang a way home. Rated M for some language and space violence.
1. Table of Contents

Story Arcs:

**Learning Curve-balls **- Ch. 2 - 7

**Master and Apprentice **- Ch. 8 - #

**A Fist Full of Dust **

**The Thorian Threat **

**Let's Go Punch a Reaper **

**Reunion**

**Building A Better Badass**

**Let's Punch Some Collectors**

**Recruitment Hard Drive**

**The Fang**

**Welcome to Space**

**Beyond Omega 4**

**The Arrival**

**Doomsday**

**Let's Punch Some More Reapers!**

**Downtime At The End Of Everything**

**The Grand Alliance**

**The Final Battle**

**Dust to Dust**


	2. Welcome to the Citadel!

**Learning Curveballs Start**

The first thing Yang became aware of was pain. Then the fact that she was laying down,and it was pitch black. No wait, her eyes were closed. Groaning, she tried to recall how she got here. Last thing she remembered, Torchwick had just punched her a few times with his giant robot suite. Ah, that's why she hurt so much. Still, the fact that she was able to get up must mean they had won. She forced her eyes open a crack...only to see herself looking back. Blinking in utter confusion, it took her longer than it should have to register that it was her own reflection. Not in a mirror, but on somebody's face mask. Well, as long as there was somebody here she might as well see if she could get a little help. "Hey, any chance I could get a hand up? I can't seem to feel my legs over the pain I'm in."

* * *

Tali couldn't believe her luck. She'd finally managed to get a meeting with the Shadow Broker, was finally going to be safe. And then some groaning drew her attention over to a corner, revealing a human woman sprawled out, no doubt drunk or high on some drugs. She sighed, cursing her conscience as she went over to move the junkie. Tali normally didn't care for their kind, but she doubted the Shadow Broker would risk leaving a random witness around, and there was no way she could live with herself if some random human died a needless death just for her own convenience when all she had to do was drag her out of the alley. Or at least, that was the plan before she got a better look at the human female (it was hard to judge alien ages and she wasn't sure if she was a youth or an adult). The yellow haired woman was heavily bruised and battered, with small abrasions and cuts over a large part of her body, and with dirtied and torn cloths. This was no junkie on an overdose, this was a victim of a mugging, or rape, or some other violent crime.

And then the woman opened up her eyes, looking at Tali and blinking in confusion, seeming to be struggling to come to a coherent thought. And then she asked "Hey, any chance I could get [assistance in standing]? I can't feel my legs over the pain I'm in."

Well there was no way Tali could ignore a situation like this. Her own people were victims often enough that she could only too easily sympathize with the human. Bending down, she proceeded to lift the human with a shoulder support, surprised to find the girl to be the same height as herself. Definitely a child then, full grown humans tended to be taller than quarians. "Okay, up you go. Darn it, they had to pick this ally to dump you in huh?" Seeing the girls confusion, Tali quickly started moving her toward the alley entrance to hopefully get her out of the way in time. "I hope you got a good look at whoever did this to you. C-Sec should be able to go off of a good description."

"Huh, but we're not on the ocean, how can I be sea sick?" the human asked, obviously confused. The fact that she was looking around like she had never seen the place before was not doing anything to dispel the quarian's worries.

Tali winced. "I think you have a concussion. Um, I think I'm supposed to ask you for your name, the year, and we're you are to check for brain damage." It was an ugly prospect, but quarians did not shy away from the possibilities that were less than friendly. Their own lives were proof enough that the worst could happen at any moment, and that things were not fair.

The human girl blinked a couple times, before nodding slowly. She was also regaining her balance, which was good. In fact, if Tali didn't know better, she'd think that the girls wounds were already healing without medigel. "Ahh, yeah. Name's Yang Xiao Long, it's three seventy two, and we're in the city of Vale."

Ah great, she did have damage. She wasn't sure how to convert human dates, so she'd for the moment assume two out of three. "Ah, no, we're not in Vale. I am afraid you are confused there. You're on the Citadel."

Yang blinked at her, confusion apparent. "Where the hell is the Citadel?"

Before Tali could answer any further, a turian entered from the very entryway she was heading towards.

* * *

Yang watched as the lizard faunus approached her and mask girl, pistol drawn. She was glad her aura was kicking in to heal her, because this was starting to look bad.

"You the one with the data? And who's your human friend?" the lizard dude asked.

Mask girl tensed, "She's nobody, just a mugging victim in the alley. Are you the Shadow Broker?"

"Lady, the Shadow Broker doesn't meet anybody in person."

"Then the deal is off. You call your boss back and let him know that if he doesn't show the deal is off. In the meantime, I'm taking this girl to the doctor." Yang had to admire the girl's spirit, but she doubted it would be that easy.

Sadly, the lizard's smirk proved her right. "Now whoever said I work for the Broker?" He leveled his pistol at them. "Who knows, I might ever get a bonus for getting rid of the human."

Ah great, White Fang type. Well, she felt healed enough to take on one guy, her way. Getting off of mask girl's shoulder, she started slinking forward. Keeping her voice subtle and velvety, she laid her bait. "Hey, tough guy, you don't have to call me 'human', as a special rule just for you," he seemed more confused than seduced, it seemed that he was so racist that the fact she was human could throw him off that much, but confused still provided the opening she needed as she dropped the velvet for steel "you can call me sir!" The look of surprise and pain on his face as he dropped his gun in shock (bonus!) was worth having to pretend to charm the creep.

"Alright you bi-" a quick squeeze changing his tune, and octaves, "Alright Sir. If you want to have any chance to live Sir, you'll let me go right now. We only want the quarian, Sir."

"We?" Her question was answered almost immediately by the sound of guns cocking behind her. Turning around, Yang saw half a dozen lizard guys armed with guns pointing at them. "Ah. We. Got it. Well, might as well make this fun. I'm going to try whooping your asses in alphabetical order. You ready?"

And that's when the shots started flying.

* * *

Shepard couldn't believe her luck. She was afraid she had arrived too late when she saw the goons rushing into the alley, but the sound of some girl shouting filled her with hope. "What do you guys say we help her kick some of that ass?"

Garrus's response was to simply raise his rifle and pop off a clear head shot. Not to be outdone, the rest of the team started firing, except for Wrex who just went barreling in and smashed one of the guys into another, and both of them into a wall. Kaidan and Ashley had focused fire on one guy dropping him fast, but Shepard's pistol wasn't putting her targets barriers fast enough. Just as the thug raised his weapon to shoot back, the quarian, Tali, surprised her by unloading a shotgun she'd had hidden on her person.

In just seconds the only people left standing were Shepard, her squad, Tali, and the blond girl with hostage. "So, uh, you guys the good guys then? Or do I need to kick your asses in alphabetical order?" Her hostage however took this as a chance to try and escape, bringing both hands down onto her in an overhead slam. However, the girl barely even flinched, just frowned. "Wrong move." She released her hostage from one hand only to punch him with another. He hit the wall so hard he bounced to the ground. Looking closer Shepard realized there was actually a slight dent in the wall. Whoever this girl was, she was definitely impressive.

"If it matters at all, my name is Zyzex." Garrus quipped. He clearly didn't want to tangle with somebody like that in close quarters. Then again, neither did Shepherd. In fact, she doubted anybody but a krogan could handle that.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Relax, we're the good guys. Commander Shepard, we were sent to rescue Tali."

Seeing the blond blink, she was relieved as the quarian explained "Right, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier. I'm Tali. Why are you looking for me?"

"We believe that you have data vital to an ongoing investigation. We need it to bring a criminal to justice."

"Hold on, the Shadow Broker paid me a good bit to secure that data." Wrex noted, his massive shotgun held in a neutral position, but clearly on display.

Shepard had already thought of a way out of that though. "Did he pay for exclusive rights Wrex? Or just to have a copy?"

Wrex blinked a couple of times, then grinned. "Shrewd. I like that Shepard. Maybe next time he'll be willing to pay a bit more with a better worded contract."

Tali then seemed to remember something. "Ahh, I forgot in all the excitement! We need to get Yang here to a doctor. I found her beaten in the alley, and she has a head injury and is disoriented."

The girl, Yang apparently, scoffed a bit. "I'm fine, just a little confused on where I am. Just tell me what continent this citadel is on and I'll just see about finding a boat chartered for Vale."

"Um," Shepard was uncertain on how to break this to her, "not a citadel. The Citadel. You know, in space?"

Yang just looked at her like she was the crazy one. "Oh come on, you honestly expect me to believe we're in frickin' space?"

* * *

"Holy crap we're in space!" Yang exclaimed, looking over the vast expanse of stars that spread out before her, a nebula in plain view. "How is this even possible? We haven't even figured out how to get to the moon yet!" Shepard, the military people, Tali, Zyzex, and super lizard dude all looked at her like she was some sort of zoo animal...or a crazy person rambling about the impossible. "Hey I'm not crazy! I realize plenty of crazy people say that, but I'm not one of them!"

"I'm sure you think you're not, but why don't we have a doctor look you over just to make sure?" Shepard said in the soothing tone of voice reserved for upset children and crazy people. A total insult because Yang was totally not crazy...right?


	3. Yang's Test Results

"Okay now we'll just take a blood sample while we prepare a neural scan." the doctor, apparently her name was Chakwas (really weird name), said.

Yang was in the medical bay of a spaceship, an honest to goodness spaceship, getting checked out by a friend of Commander Shepard. Apparently Chakwas liked Shepard enough to do a medical test using military gear on a civilian, off the record. "So just lie back here and whoa!" Lights and a pair of metal rings made several quick passes over her head as she lay down on the weird table, and a floating model of a brain along with several complex looking charts and graphs holographically appeared. "Nice, this the latest tech? None of my doctors had anything this nice."

The doctor smiled a bit. "Indeed. The best military money can buy. Now let's have a look here. Hmmm, no bruising, no low activity areas. In fact, neural activity seems to be slightly higher than normal, and slightly denser neural tissue than normal. No sign of damage so that's a relief." Turning over to another computer, she suddenly frowned. "That can't be right. Something seems to be up with the blood test machine. And it's not even a month old. Figures I have to [remove flaws from] the new stuff."

Yang blinked, for a second it sounded like a different voice was talking and the words didn't match the doctor's lips. Yang was feeling...slightly concerned, but not worried. She wasn't crazy after all. "So, um, if there is a problem I do know some of my own medical history you know. I could probably answer some things."

Doctor Chakwas looked at her for a minute, before nodding. "Well I suppose some information is better than none. Now then to start with, what is your blood type?" She tapped a button that must have been hidden on her wrist somewhere because suddenly there was a floating holo-interface for her to use. Fancy tech, Ruby would probably love it.

Yang relaxed. That was an easy one, every Huntress knew it in case they needed emergency attention. "My blood type is RT positive."

Chakwas looked up, stunned a bit. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that please?"

Was she hard of hearing? Or had she just said it too fast or not clearly enough? "Are, tee, pos-it-ive." Noticing that the doctor was looking at the apparently broken machine again, Yang took a look herself, and noted that the machine indeed did list her blood type as RT+. So what the hell was she confused about?

For her part, Chakwas looked shaken. "I think we are going to need to run some more tests. A lot more tests."

Yang groaned. That's the last thing anyone wants to hear from a doctor, especially when you're recovering from a ton of injuries. She just hoped the results wouldn't be too bad.

* * *

Commander Shepard, newly appointed Specter, boarded the Normandy with trepidation. It felt wrong to be taking Anderson's ship, like she was some sort of pirate that stole a vessel she had no right to. Still with Garus, Wrex, and Tali joining the crew things seemed to be looking up. Tali was an expert engineer and was knowledgeable about the Geth forces Saren commanded. Garus had years of experience tracking criminals and was an expert combatant. Wrex was a biotic krogan battlemaster. That alone said it all. So of course, just as she started to feel positive about all this, she got a call from Chakwas. "Commander, I need to see you in my office right away." Judging by the tone of voice, it was not good news.

Arriving at the medical wing, Shepard looked through the windows to see Yang looking around aimlessly while swinging her legs like a little kid. Then again, depending on her injuries she might mentally be like one, poor kid. Entering the Doctor's office, she faced Chakwas seated behind her desk. "So, what's the damage?"

To Shepard's surprise, the doctor sighed and massaged her forehead. "Well, that's a loaded question. Let's just say that there are a lot of unanswered questions being raised here, about twice as many as we got answered. Right then, getting to the heart of the matter, and where all this stems from." Leaning forward, she looked Shepard right in the eyes as she said "That girl Yang is NOT human."

* * *

Garrus was busy unpacking his supplies in his crew quarters, sizable by turian standards, when he thought he heard something. Quickly looking around, he noted nothing. After a few moments more quiet, he decided it was nothing and went back to work. It had almost sounded like somebody had been shouting, but it was too indistinct to tell what was being said. Hopefully whatever argument was going on, Shepard would be able to solve it. She seemed the level headed type.

* * *

"Not so loud, Commander. My ears are working just fine." Chakwas said, still feeling a ringing in her ears.

"Sorry, it's just...how can she not be human? I mean, just look at her!" Shepard gestured out the window at Yang, who had turned and regarded them during Shepard's outburst. She waved and the Commander awkwardly returned the wave before Yang started looking around the room again.

"I know, it threw me for a loop too. But she is not human. DNA and blood don't lie."

"Then, what is she and how did she make herself look so human?" This had all the warning signs of a potential disaster. If there were spies that could take on human appearance and just walk off with Alliance secrets...

"She did nothing Shepard. As far as I can tell, her species just looks like ours naturally. No signs of surgery, dye, or artificial parts. She is a one hundred percent natural...whatever she is."

Shepard blinked. "Then how do you know she's not a human with a weird genetic condition?"

Chakwas nodded. "A fair question. I know because no genetic condition can make one dextro-amino." Seeing Shepard's shock, she nodded. "That's only the start. Her musculature, bones, and neural tissue are denser than ours, her spleen and pancreas switched sides, her liver tissue is actually less dense, and her appendix, or aurialn as she called it, is active and producing hormones not found in any species on record. In short, she's a member of a species that just looks ridiculously human on the surface, but would die if we gave her some of our chocolate."

Shepard sat down herself in the office's other chair. "This...is a lot to take in. Does...does she know?"

"I think she knows something is up, but I can't guarantee that she hasn't figured it out with the tests I did and the questions I had to ask." She leaned forward, staring Shepard in the eyes. "That's not all of it. If she doesn't have brain damage and isn't insane, and now that I know she's not human I'm less certain on how to judge that, then we have a bigger problem."

"Bigger than her not being human? Why couldn't my first day on the job be easy."

Chakwas smiled ruefully. "Heavy hangs the head my dear. The problem is that, if she's telling the truth, she's from a primitive planet. One that has not even reached its own moon yet, let alone deep space. Which raises the question..."

"...of how she got on the Citadel in the first place." She frowned. "When I was told Specter's would be called on to make tough decisions, I somehow thought it would be more clear cut. Heat of the moment deals. Quiet, peaceful, contemplative, coldly logical decisions about the fate of a young girl was not what I signed up for."

"I'm sorry to drop this on you your first day Shepard, but this is something you need to figure out today, before we leave dock. This cannot be put off."

Standing up, Shepard had to admit defeat. Her first job would be to break some kid's world view and probably leave her devastated. All hail Shepard the mighty Specter, hero of the galaxy.

* * *

"Okay, so basically you guys are just aliens that look human. Go it." Yang said,enjoying the look of shock on Shepard's face. "I'm not an idiot you know. I looked at a couple of your basic medical charts, like the one over there for blood type." She smirked as she pointed it out. "So, how do we get me back home Red?" This was going to be fun. A great big alien adventure she could tell the whole gang about and why did Shepard look upset. "Um, is everything okay?"

"Yang...do you have any idea on how to navigate via stars relative to the galactic core? Or anyway to locate your tiny planet in the vastness of space?" the Commander asked.

Yang realized she didn't. Hell, there were probably less than a dozen scientists on her own planet who could even begin working on that problem. For a brawler like her... "We, I know I read somewhere that the radio we broadcast can be picked up in space. Maybe we could scan for that?"

* * *

Shepard shook her head. She really hated having to dash the kid's hopes, but they had to be realistic. "It's possible, but unlikely. There would have to be a deep space probe capable of detecting radio waves in the right frequency within however many light years your broadcast have traveled, and then somebody would have to notice the broadcast. It's basically worse than lottery odds." If it was any comfort, Shepard was devastated to have to explain this to her.

It was no comfort apparently, as Yang screamed in frustration and primal fury. Her hair glowed brightly as her eyes turned blood red, and she proceeded to rip the entire medical table out of the floor and throw it against the wall, howling in grief as she broke down crying, glow fading.

Shepard was stunned. She knew Yang wasn't human, but to see such a brutal, obvious display...it was unnerving. Such power was extremely dangerous. Shepard decided to screw logic, there was a kid crying. Approaching from behind and kneeling down she put Yang into a hug, hoping that the action's intended comfort crossed species lines, and just held her as she sobbed. "It's alright. Things are going to get better, I promise. I'm a Specter. That means I have a license to do just about anything. I'm going to find some experts, and I am going to get them searching for a way to get you home. In the meantime I'll find you a place to stay, some people to take care of you."

"What? I can't stay with you? Why?" Yang asked, still clearly upset, but at least she had calmed down enough to listen.

"I have a mission. I'm hunting down a dangerous fugitive named Saren. I don't have time to look after you personally right now."

Shepard was shocked as Yang stopped crying and, gently removing Shepherd's arms from around her, slowly stood up and faced her, a look of determination on her face. "Let me join you."

"No. I understand you don't want to be with strangers right now, but this is too dangerous for a civilian." Shepard got to her own feet, ready to argue. The last thing she needed was an inexperienced kid getting underfoot.

"Hah! Civilian? I'll have you know I'm not only fully combat trained I'm a full blown Huntress." Seeing the title had no effect, she clarified "That means that I am a top quality world class elite ass kicker. I'm not some helpless civilian, and I am not going to sit around all day or month or year doing nothing and going crazy. I am going to do something, anything, useful to keep my mind off of things and not feel like dead weight. So I am coming along, even if I have to kick your ass repeatedly until you give in."

Shepard looked at the kids determined, though thankfully not red right now, eyes. She then looked over at the wrecked bed. Weighing her options, she came to a decision. "Well, then. Welcome to the team. The medical gear is coming out of your pay." She smirked at the kids shocked expression.

"What? Ahhh, that's no fair! Mental duress! Temporary insanity! I wasn't working for you yet!" Yang complained, before breaking out into a big grin. The two of them shared a big laugh about it. Taking a deep break to calm herself, Yang thought of something. "Hey, if you're aliens, how come you're speaking Valen so clearly?"

"Uhhhh..." Shepard said, realizing there were probably a few more things, like the food situation, that she really needed to go over with Yang. For example: "Now don't freak out but Doctor Chakwas did some scans and, well..." Deciding show beat tell, she grabbed Yang's wrist and hit the button, bringing up her omnitool.

Yang stared at the holographic display shining from her arms in shock. Glaring, her eyes darkening a bit, she turned to face Shepard. "Explain. Now."


	4. Settling In On A Spaceship

"And that's the situation with Yang as it currently stands." Shepard concluded. "We'll have to tell the general crew eventually, if only for food and medical safety reasons, but I needed you guys to know first and make sure that we're all on the same page." She looked around the meeting room, gauging people's reactions. Ashley looked a bit pissed off, and Pressly was in a more general wary state. The two didn't have the best attitudes towards aliens to begin with, and the thought of a 'human alien' was probably more unnerving to them than it otherwise would be. Kaidan and Garrus seemed to at least be thinking about it and processing it. Well, Kaidan at least, Shepard hadn't gotten the nuances of turian body language down but it looked like he was thinking. Tali's body language was incredibly easy to read however. It seemed that with their faces always covered, the quarians had developed overly exaggerated body motions to compensate, and right now hers screamed genuine concern for the stranded Yang. With her own people's home world gone, it was easy for the quarian to sympathize. Chakwas was waiting to chime in if she needed to correct or add anything.

Wrex just looked bored. "So, any reason you called us in? Shouldn't it just be your XO and the doctor?"

Shepard shook her head. "That would be standard Alliance protocol, but right now this is a Specter ship. I believe keeping my team informed and up to date, unfiltered by the command ranks, is for the best. I need my team operating at full at all times, and to ensure that I want you all in on the decision making process and briefings."

"Then why isn't Yang here? You said you let her on the team." Garrus asked, genuine confusion in his voice.

Shepard winced a little. This was going to be painful. "I did say that, but there are some concerns. To start with, I also called you all here because I am going to be giving you assignments involving Yang and bringing her up to speed. We have no idea how she stacks up compared to us, and she has no knowledge about the galaxy. So I'm going to need all hands on board for this." Looking around at the crew, she decided she should start with the ones that are most likely to be a problem first to get it out of the way. "Ashly, I need you to see how good of a shot she is, get her up to speed on kinetic barriers, explain heat sinks, drones, everything. We can't take for granted that she knows anything about our kind of warfare. If she complains, I think a kick to her warrior pride will get her back on course."

"Understood Sir." Ashley responded. Shepard raised an eyebrow. Crisp, military, unfeeling. She had expected some complaint. Still, maybe she shouldn't. It was very basic stuff and was a very logical request.

Turning to the next in line, she started up again. "Alright then. Pressly, I need you to figure out how to inform the crew without causing panic. How much we inform them is at your discretion, but they need to know she's not human, and they need to know about the food situation. I can't afford to have the kid die because a crew member gave her the wrong soda."

Pressly sat, very deep in thought. "Hmm, it will be tricky to prevent a panic. I'd recommend that we also include that fact that she's primitive and stranded, that should garner some sympathy to take the edge off of the idea of a planet of humanoids. I would however suggest keeping her feats of strength quiet, at least at first. The thought that the human looking thing next to you could rip you in half like a piece of paper would do the crew no favors at this time, and would put them on edge around Yang. It would paint her a bit monstrous. Although if you want my opinion you shouldn't have taken her on board in the first place. She represents an unknown danger. But you did, and so I will do my best to keep the situation under control with the crew."

Shepard could respect that. It was clear that Pressly was upset about it, but he would do his duty loyalty. A good soldier through and through. "Alright then, Kaidan. Her scans show almost no ezzo in her systems at all, just trace amounts you pick up from being around mass effect tech. She has no clue on biotics, so I need you to bring her up to speed on that." Getting a nod and a thumbs up, she moved on. "Garrus, I'm putting you in charge of her general well being, at least at first. She never grew up with the idea of poisonous food and medicine. You're going to have to show her the ropes. What's safe to eat, what isn't, how to tell the difference, what medicine to use, what to do if she takes the wrong stuff. She's on the dextro side of the divide, so I can't really help her there."

"Got it. Babysitting, just the sort of glorious task I signed up for when I left C-Sec. My parents would be so proud." Garrus quipped, though with a turian smile so she knew he was kidding.

Still, it couldn't hurt to emphasise that this wasn't busy work. "Yes, keeping the only known member of an undiscovered intelligent species from dying is an important job. I think she technically qualifies as an ambassador, so think of it as preventing political assassination or an intergalactic incident. If that would make your parents more proud." She threw out her own smile at the end to indicate that she was exaggerating a bit for comedic effect, but that the job was still important. At least she hoped that all got across, it was always difficult to tell with aliens.

"And what about me Commander?" Tali asked, honestly curious. "Bring her up to speed on technology?"

"Technology, politics, society, whatever you can, but that's not your main job. I'll be doing a lot of that too." Seeing Tali's confusion, she decided to explain it somewhat bluntly. "The fact is I need you to emotionally support Yang. I know from my own experience that people who've gone through a tragedy can't really connect with someone who didn't go through something similar. She's stranded in a huge, hostile galaxy, may never see her world again, and her only home is the ship she is on. She is doing her best to move on, and if she's anything like a human she will seem normal most of the time, but it is going to hit her hard and often and sometimes without warning. It takes a while for emotional wounds like that to blunt and start healing in humans, and I fear it's going to take at least as long for her to recover."

Tali noded, feeling deep pangs of sympathy. "My people share her plight, but at least we have the hope to see our world someday and the distance of generations to blunt the pain. But still,every quarian knows they are homeless. I'll do my best to help her."

"And me? Need me to tuck the kid in bed at night and read her a bedtime story?" Wrex asked, obviously not impressed by all the touchy feely stuff.

Shepard shook her head, a look of deadly seriousness on her face. "No, I have something more up your alley for this. If Yang has another violent meltdown, I need you to restrain her. I honestly think you are the only person on this entire ship that can do so."

Wrex smiled. "So, it's when her eyes go red right? Sounds a bit like blood rage."

* * *

Garrus knocked on the door to Yang's quarters. The meeting had ended about fifteen minutes ago, and he figured the kid could probably use something to eat right about now. Might as well start his job with some lunch. "Hey, can I come in? I'm supposed to show you what food is safe to eat, and I figured you'd probably want lunch."

"Yeah...sure...lunch." came a subdued reply.

Nervous, Garrus opened the door to find Yang sitting cross legged at the floor, staring at a blank section of wall. "Um, interesting view?"

She chuckled weakly. "Nah, I was just thinking my favorite poster would look good here, it's of my favorite musical group. But then I realized it was back home, in my room, with all my other stuff, with my sister, who probably thinks I'm dead." That's when the floodgate opened.

Garrus wasn't sure what to do. He was never any good with crying women of his own species, let alone a species he never met before. So he might as well try the turian way first. "Suck it up soldier, I thought you were a warrior."

Yang turned to face him, springing up to her feet almost faster than his eyes could follow. "What was that you jerk?" Her eyes were glowing slightly red right now.

Garrus knew he was treading on dangerous territory, but couldn't back out now. "You heard me. On my planet you would not be considered fit to serve as a soldier bawling like that, and considering that even our taxi drivers are military veterans that is saying something. You are not going to sit here crying like a child. You are going to come with me to the kitchens, have lunch, and learn to spirits damn feed yourself so I don't have to worry over you like some nanny worried you're going to stick the wrong thing in your mouth. Is that understood soldier?"

Yang glared at him for a bit, before subduing her glow. "Sir yes sir captain asshole sir."

Ah well, seemed she didn't like him. Hopefully she'd warm up later, he wasn't sure he could keep up the Full Steel Mandible routine up for very long, and if that was the only way she would listen to him things would get rough. Maybe he should try the gentler approach now? Just to see how it goes. "That's lieutenant asshole. Captain asshole was my father." He cracked his best impression of a human smile, figuring she wouldn't pick up on a turian one. "Sorry about that, but I didn't know any other way to snap you out of that. My species isn't exactly known for being good with emotions, so I'm doing the best I can. If you need a shoulder to leak water on, Tali or Commander Shepard are probably your best bets. Now come on, I'll show you the mess hall."

As they walked in silence for a bit, Yang had a look of concentration on her face. After a bit, she brightened ( though thankfully not literally) and smiled a big human smile. "You know something Zyzex, you're not as bad at this as you think."

Garrus paused, and slowly turned to face her. Confusion was evident on Yang's face, and a smaller, more nervous smile betrayed her anxiety that she had somehow accidentally insulted him. Well, might as well nip this potential problem in the bud. "Ah, about that Zyzex thing..."

* * *

Kaidan was enjoying a fair sized snack in the mess. It was after regular meals so there weren't any others around except for the Mess Sergeant who was used to the biotic snacking. A side effect of their powers was an increased metabolism, the reason Kaidan always kept a tube of sugar mints on his person. He was just about to enjoy his beef jerky when loud laughter could be heard. Looking up, he saw a mortified Garrus coming up, followed by a hysterical Yang.

"It's not that funny." Garrus sulked.

"Yes it is. A fake name to go last in asskicking? At least with the Earth alphabet? That is...you know I can never let you live this down right?" Yang was apparently in a very good mood over learning about Garrus's choice of fake names, though Kadan noted that they would need to explain to Yang that Earth had more than one language. Garrus went to talk with the sergeant about getting some food, Kaidan knew some supplies had been picked up on the Citadel for Garrus and Tali even before they knew about Yang, while the girl in question smiled and waved at him. Moving over to his table, Yang examined his jerky. "Hey that looks good." Picking up a piece, she was about to eat it before Kaidan quickly grabbed it out of her hand. "Hey, what was that for you jerk?"

Kaidan just looked at her. "Um, didn't Shepard explain the food situation to you?" If the commander hadn't gotten a chance to do so yet, this could get very awkward.

Yang blinked a couple times before very slowly burying her face in both of her hands. "Oh my god, I totally forgot. And after Garrus gave a whole speech about having to be a nanny to keep me from putting the wrong things in my mouth. Please don't tell him, I would never live it down."

Kaidan smiled. He could easily understand her confusion, it was a brand new rule to remember and he did look so much like her species she'd probably have to make a conscious effort to remember that his food was poison to her. "Hey no problem, rookie mistake. Just pay attention to what old Zyzex tells you, and you should be fine."

The two of them shared a laugh as Garrus came over, two deep blue meat kabobs in hand. "What are you two laughing about?"

"Oh nothing, Zyzex." Kaidan quipped, with a wink to Yang.

"Oh no, you are not calling me that too. Her I can almost tolerate because I technically started it with her. You don't have the privilege."

"Oh come on Z, lighten up!" Yang cheered, then looked at what he was carrying. "What's with the blue stuff?"

Garrus smiled, clearly enjoying where this part of the conversation was going. "This is lunch. Spoo kabobs, the other blue meat."

Yang laughed a bit. "Okay, you got me Z. Blue meat. So what is it really?" Garrus just smirked and walked away from her back toward her quarters. "Z? Zyzex? Come on Garrus, enough joking around. You can't be serious. Blue meat?"

"What? It's delicious."

"It's blue! Meat should not be blue!"

"Expand your palate a little. Spoo tastes great."

"It's blue!"

"Stop being such a baby and try some."

"Blue!"

Kaidan made sure they were out of earshot before he burst out laughing. Wait until the others heard about this one!

* * *

"I'm sorry, did you just say she has N5 marksman qualifications?" Shepard asked, staring at Ashley like she grew a second head.

"Yes Sir. The only reason I don't rank it higher is that she doesn't have the proper exotic environment training for vacuum, high, and low gravity fighting. Quite frankly she is a hell of a shot, and I can believe she's military, though there is one puzzling, minor concern."

"Go on. Is she having trouble with heat sinks?" Shepard asked. Essentially ammo-less technology couldn't be easy to handle for somebody used to more old fashioned magazines.

"Actually no, once I explained it she understood it perfectly. The problem is she has no experience with sustained automatic fire. Apparently semi-auto is the planetary standard, and automatics are, I quote, "rather specialized stuff, I never understood the appeal. Give me firepower over speed any day."" She looked up at Shepherd as she finished. "So my recommendation is no machine guns or pistols, and at most short burst rifles, three rounds maximum. She is a natural fit for shotguns as well as, oddly enough, sniper rifles. She seemed oddly proficient with both of them."

Shepard nodded. "An up close and a distance option. If rate of fire isn't a big deal on their world, then they can't just do gun sweeps to clear out snipers, they'd have to hunt them. An up close option compliments them. What about kinetic barriers? She understand how they work?"

"Extensively." Ashley massaged her forehead. "In fact, once I got the basic concept explained to her, she started picking it apart." Seeing Shepard's confusions, she elaborated. "Uselessness against gases and liquids. Inability to stop low speed projectiles and melee attacks. Feelings of invulnerability spawned in idiots. She did not find the tech impressive in the least. In fact, I think she looks down on us a bit for using it. Still, at least we have "enough sense to wear armor along with this useless thing" so there is that going for us at least." She hesitated a bit before continuing. "There is one more thing that really needs to be addressed and I'm not sure how to handle it. Yang kept asking for the "melee features" on the guns, and once I explained that we didn't do that she asked where we kept the melee weapons as she wanted to spar. Shepard, it almost sounds like she's expecting bayonet charges and saber duels."

Shepard thought things over, nodding. "It makes some sense. Krogan are about as strong and they still have melee charging as part of their combat doctrine. I can see another physically powerful species keeping it standard, especially if they don't have machine gun sweeps to render charges to mincemeat." Ashley seemed hesitant. "Is there something else?"

"Ah, I don't really think it's a problem Sir, but Yang did manage to bring some of her own weaponry with her." Seeing Shepard's glare she quickly elaborated. "Those golden bracelets expand into full on gauntlets, she demonstrated while talking about getting around barriers in melee. They seem to be combination guards and knuckle dusters. Nothing major, as her own strength is more of the issue when it comes to melee. She could probably, unarmed, beat both of us fully armed in melee combat and not break a sweat. Letting her have some knuckle dusters doesn't seem like a big deal by comparison. At least she can't shoot at us with them on, she'd have no way to hold a gun with the room they take up fully expanded."

Shepard nodded. "Well that's a relief. At least we don't have to worry about her shooting us while punching us through walls if she loses it."

* * *

Kaidan was jealous of how easy the others had it. Ashley takes the kid in for a three hour training session, comes out praising the N5 marksman. Tali was giving the kid basic culture and tech lessons, such as what the different species were and that no, they didn't all come from the same planet, or how the Mass Relays worked in basic principal. She hadn't brought up the quarian situation yet, but he figured baby steps was the way to go. Chakwas said she was being a model patient for figuring out her baseline health for medical reasons. Apparently Yang had a very good understanding of why it was important for her doctor to have this information, and ever brought up previous injuries and illnesses for the sake of having solid, useable records. Garrus was complaining that Yang was hogging the spoo kabobs. And the kumji. And just about everything else. In fact, he noted that if Yang ate this much routinely they'd have to almost double their dextro food supplies at the next restock. And then pick up the normal stock for him and Tali.

So with all the good stuff he'd been hearing all day yesterday, he'd been looking forward to explaining biotics to the apparently bright young woman. And then they hit a brick wall. It seems that of all the things for her to have trouble understanding it wasn't the aliens, advanced technology, a different standard of warfare, medical analysis, or that the meat was blue. It was biotics, his subject, that she hit a seemingly insurmountable mental block on. It had to happen eventually, but why did it have to be on his subject? And at the basic level to boot, no talks about advanced techniques or the like. She honestly didn't seem able to grasp what a biotic was. "Okay, we've been at this for an hour now, and I'm not sure where the problem is." he explained, doing his best to keep the strain out of his voice.

For her part at least Yang looked equally frustrated, head face down on the desk and moaning slightly. "I'll tell you what the problem is: I don't understand your freaky space magic."

"It's not magic it's...okay look how about we try this. I'm going to start over with the basic explanation, again, but this time," he said to forestall any new complaints "this time I'm going to go slower AND as soon as I say something you don't understand I want you to raise your hand so that we can go over the ideas and build our way up, sound good?" Taking Yang's nod as a good sign, he began again "A biotic occurs when exposure to ezzo" he paused, Yang's hand already up. "Alright then, ezzo is the nickname for Element Zero" hand raised "an atom with an atomic weight of zero." The hand was still up. "Ah, do you not no what atomic weight is?"

"Well, yeah, but first what is an at-tum?" Yang asked, her struggling over the word showing her translator had no equivalent and was therefore unable to help. To her, it was as alien a word as quarian, spoo, and ezzo. She had to deliberately say it herself.

Kaidan was at a loss. How do you explain atoms? Simple ideas, he could fill in the details later. "Okay, simple version. Atoms are the really really tiny particles that make up everything. And by tiny I mean you cannot go any smaller." Technically not true, but again simple. "A sewing needle can have millions of atoms in it, that is how small they are." Again, probably not accurate, but it would get the idea across. Seeing Yang nod, understanding lighting up in her eyes, Kaidan smiled. Okay, they were finally making progress! "So, since atoms are so small you can't weigh them the normal way. So we invented a unit called atomic weight. Ezzo is special because it is the only thing in the universe with an atomic weight of less than one. In fact it's weight is zero, which is how it got its name."

"Okay, I think I get ezzo now. It is an at-tum with no weight." Yang said, nodding.

Kaidan was thrilled, a real breakthrough! "Okay, so, starting again, a biotic occurs when exposure to ezzo radiation" the hand was up again, making Kaidan hesitate. "Ah, was I going too fast?"

"No no, it's just...what is radiation?" Yang asked, sounding out the word with greater ease than she had the word atom.

Kaidan was at a loss once again. How do you explain radiation to someone who doesn't know even the basic concept in a way that wouldn't be pants shittingly terrifying? Then he got a great idea. "I'm not sure how to explain the idea right, why don't we go see Tali for this one?" Really, it was quite brilliant. Quarians had to explain this stuff to children all the time, they probably had an easy way to get the idea across.

* * *

"So run this by me again." Shepard asked, feeling the start of a migraine coming on.

Tali started off this time. "Right it all started when Kaiden dumped his charge on me-"

"Because I didn't know how to explain radiation in a way that didn't sound pants shittingly terrifying."

"So after explaining what information was needed I explained it to Yang-"

"In an even more terrifying manner than I thought possible."

"-the way my people traditionally explain it to our children." She shot Kaidan a glare visible in intensity even through her helmet. "She then freaked out, grabbed an anti-radiation suit, and locked herself in her quarters."

Shepard sighed. "Your people seriously explain to your children all the various stages of radiation poisoning, in detail, including what happens when the various organs fail?"

"Of course." Tali explained, evidently confused by the humans' attitudes. "We live on ships surrounded by potential radiation hazards. If we don't explain it fully to our children, it results in a far greater chance they won't respect the dangers it represents and cause a serious breach or contamination incident."

Shepard sighed. Of course they couldn't be gentle when it came to the issue, they couldn't afford to risk being nice about it. "Alright then. I assume freak outs like this are common with quarian children then. What's the protocol for dealing with it then?"

Tali shrugged. "I don't know. We don't have private quarters to lock ourselves in. Space is at a premium in the Flotilla, rooms belong to whole families. I assume we just wait long enough for her to just calm down and leave on her own, or that she gets hungry enough to leave so we can talk to her."

Shepard winced, migraine present in full. Okay, so maybe just because they had a lot in common didn't mean Tali was the right choice for keeping Yang emotionally stable. And what's more they had a mission to plan for tomorrow regarding Benezia's daughter. Today was just not her day.


	5. What's A Hot Drop?

Once Yang had finally been calmed down, it had taken an appeal her stomach to get her to come out of the room to talk in the first place, Shepard informed her of the general meeting that was going to take place in about an hour and how to get there. Having returned the suit and gotten some grub (though thankfully not actual bugs, a possibility she had been worried about when told she'd be eating alien food) she was feeling a whole lot better. The meeting was in a room with a long, thin table with Shepard at the head and the others seated on one side or the other...except for the super lizard, or krogan if she remembered Tali's lesson right, who stood off to the side looking bored.

As she sat down next to Garrus, she realized that Tali was also on this side of the table. In fact, with the krogan standing behind them, it was Earthlings on one side and everyone else on the other. She felt very conscious about this, and wondered if this is how faunus felt, being lumped together and aware of their other status. If so she owed Blake an apology for all of her cat jokes...well, maybe just half. Some of them were quite good. Looking across she realized she had sat down from the only Earthling she didn't recognize, a somewhat serious looking man. Smiling and stretching her hand over to shake, she introduced herself. "Hey there, I'm Yang Xiao Long. Kinda new here. And you are?"

He just eyed her outstretched hand warily. "Navigator Pressly, executive officer. That means that when Shepard isn't around I am in charge. My main concerns are keeping crew moral and dealing with the basic running of the ship. Don't interfere with either of those jobs and we will get along just fine."

Yang struggled to keep a smile on her face as she slowly lowered her hand. With Kaidan being the only Earthling so far to return her handshake, and even then he'd been massaging his hand afterwards, she had to wonder if Earthlings just didn't shake hands. For all she knew, Kaidan just made a good guess. Turning around she decided to address the last person in the room. "So, you're a krogan right? Supposed to be ridiculously tough?"

The big guy snorted. Like, actually snorted. "Urdnot Wrex. Heard you aren't bad yourself when you get into it."

"Hey thanks Urdnot, maybe we should spar sometime?"

The krogan quirked an eye ridge at her. "Ah, I see. Urdnot is my clan name little girl, my personal name is Wrex." He leaned in a bit closer, a grin on his huge face. "And I would love a good spar. Know where I can find a decent opponent?"

Oh there was no way she was letting that one slide. Leaping up to her feet, she got her Ember Cecilia ready. "You want to go lizard boy? Cause I'm pretty sure we don't need that wall behind you!"

"Enough! Both of you stand down, that is an order!" Shepard barked, slamming her hand on her desk to restore order.

Seeing Wrex nod and lean back, Yang put her own weapons away and sat back down. They could always have a go later. "Sorry Sir. So...I wasn't informed what this meeting was about?"

"Right then. Until further notice, this is how we are going to conduct mission briefings. I'll explain the situation, and then assign roles. If I don't assign you a special role, you are to assume general duties." Shepard tapped on some buttons and a holo display of an entire freaking planet showed up, a glowing red circle indicating a specific area on the planet. A picture of a cybernetic turian appeared as well, along with a blue chick from a species Yang didn't recognize. "Alright then, to bring everyone up to speed on the basic situation. The former Specter Saren, now a fugitive, should be easier to track down than he is. One of the major reasons he is still a threat and hasn't been found is due to the resources and influence of Matriarch Benezia. An asari matriarch has enough influence, financial, political, and monetary, to turn just about anyone that they chose to support into a success story. When the person they are supporting is a war criminal, that is not good news." She directed her attention to the planetary display. "Alright then, this is the human ( Yang mentally substituted the phrase Earthling) colony world of Therum. It's volcanic, nasty, and only fit for habitation, in the the loosest sense of the term possible, because it's loaded with enough valuable minerals to supply most of our civilization's needs for the next few centuries."

Yang whistled lowly. "That's a lot of rocks."

Shepard looked rather amused at that. "Yes. However the point of interest for us is this: Benezia has a daughter who is currently on planet. An archeologist, her name is Liara T'Soni. She is on Therum studying the recently discovered Prothean ruins found in the side of an active supervolcano. We know Saren is interested in Prothean artifacts, as his attack on Eden Prime to secure the beacon showed. As such Doctor T'Soni is a potentially valuable resource in several ways. First, if she is being held hostage to be used as leverage against Benezia, as some have theorized, rescuing her would bring an end to that avenue of influence for Saren. And having a pissed off matriarch after him will ensure he dies just that much quicker. If on the other hand Benzia is willingly working with Saren, having her daughter in our custody should weaken her support. Either way, her knowledge on Protheans should be able to help us with locating this Conduit that Saren is seeking."

Yang nodded. While some of the finer details were lost on her, the general gist was enough. "Okay, grab blue space scientist, stop her rich mom from helping the bad guy, and figure out where the ancient alien super weapon is. Sounds easy enough."

Everyone just stared at her a bit, before Garrus let out a small chuckle. "Why don't we let Yang handle briefings from now on? They'd certainly actually be brief."

Shepard coughed, regaining everyone's attention. "Yes Yang, that's basically it. I'm surprised Tali already covered Protheans in your lessons."

"Nah, she hasn't gotten there yet."

The commander blinked. "Then, how did you know it was an ancient weapon?"

Yang rolled her eyes and leaned her chair back. "Let's see. Ruins, archeologist, and a bad guy obsessed with finding a specific thing from a lost civilization. This just screams ancient super weapon. It's like a bad movie plot."

Shepard rubbed her brow and breathed deeply before continuing. "Alright then, here's how I'm planning on handling this. Kaidan, Ashley, Wrex, you're coming with me in the Mako. Garrus, I have a ton of information on Saren coming in regularly. You have investigative training, I need you to go through the data and see if you can find any useful leads. Tali, I need you to work on tactical suggestions for dealing with the Geth Saren is using. We don't have practical experience with them, so I'm relying on you to give us at least some basic direction. And that's everything for now, any questions?"

Yang raised her hand, like she was in class. Receiving a nod from Shepard, she asked the obvious question "So, what am I supposed to do?"

"Ah...well you aren't familiar with basic ship duties yet, so I was figuring you could probably watch a movie or something while you waited."

"Oh no you don't. When I joined your team, it was to help you catch this Saren guy, not sit around on my butt while there is a mission going on. I'll have plenty of time to go watch a movie later, I'm going with you to Therum."

"Absolutely not! You aren't ready for a battlefield situation out here." Shepard's expression softened. "Look, I get that you're impatient and want to do something, but it's only been two days. You can't rush into this stuff. There is nothing wrong with taking the time to figure out how everything works. I can't afford you out in the field asking every five seconds "what is that?" and distracting the team. Or worse, getting confused by something that could kill you."

"Um, news flash Commander, I'm on a ship where I can die from drinking the wrong milk. This isn't exactly safe and cuddly fluffy town. And if you talked to your drill sergeant here, you'd know I got your guns and your stupid barriers down. Give me a gun, some of your neat space armor, and I'll kill more guys than you and the rest of the squad combined." Yang proceeded to lock gazes with the commander, both trying to get the other to back down.

Help came from an unexpected ally. "Ah, let the kid come Shepard. If she is ready, we're wasting a valuable asset. And if she's not, then maybe she'll learn to trust your judgement more. If she survives."

"Aww Wrex, I didn't know you cared." Yang was a little miffed at the if at the end, but she'd take all the support she could get.

Shepard admitted defeat at last. "Alright fine, she can come. But her surviving is your responsibility Wrex." Seeing the krogan's look of dismay she brightened. "That's right, you just volunteered for babysitting duty. Ashley, get Yang a suite of basic armor, and see Doctor Chakwas about getting the dispensers set with dextro friendly medigel. Yang, you have sixteen hours to get yourself acquainted with your armor and get ready for a hot drop. No complaining, you wanted in, you're going in hard."

The meeting ended shortly after that, Yang feeling quite smug. Though as Ashley lead her off, she did have one question she needed to ask. "So...what's a hot drop?" The smirk she received as an answer was not comforting.

* * *

The Geth platform was confused by what was going on. It was detecting a large energy signal in the area but neither it nor its fellow platforms could find it. And the signal was getting stronger. Then it looked up. The various crushed platforms were quickly abandoned. Intruders.

* * *

"Huh, you know, the way Ashley described it, I thought it would be a lot worse." Yang noted from somewhere in the back. She was wearing a suite of old fashioned onyx armor with her bracelets over top. It was cheap and technically was Shepard's old set, but it was the best they had on short notice. The fact that they actually had to let the chest out so that Yang could breath almost felt like payback for Shepard apparently mortally insulting her by suggesting she cut her hair to fit under the helmet. The look of sheer hatred in Yang's glowing red eyes had quickly put an end to that discussion, and so she had a large amount of blond hair sticking out the back of her helmet. It totally compromised her vacuum seals, but Shepard figured they could work on that later. It wasn't a priority right now, and she didn't want to upset Yang needlessly.

"Humans. A little terminal velocity drop and they panic." Wrex complained. The massive krogan had forgone any restraints, his sheer size preventing him from even having the option if he had wanted it as he sat across three seats. Shepard made a note to get at least one Krogan sized seat installed. Even if he didn't want the safety gear, it would at least be more comfortable.

"I know. I mean if they think landing with cushions in an armored vehicle is bad, there's no way they'd handle initiation." Yang quipped back, clearly enjoying herself.

Ashley seemed a bit insulted as she asked "Oh? And what was your initiation that you consider so impressive?"

Shepard could hear Yang's smile as she explained. "Well at Beacon, that's the hunting academy I attended, initiation starts with you getting launched via catapult off a cliff over a dense forest filled with monsters. Your first job is to figure out how to improvise a landing from about six hundred feet in the air, no parachute. Then comes the hard part."

Kaidan had a good laugh. "Okay Yang, you had me going there for a second. What was it really? ...Yang? Come on, quit joking. Yang?"

Shepard was about to respond when he noticed a Geth Armature, along with multiple rocket troopers and fire support come marching over the hills. "Alright, can the chatter, we got company. Hold on, this is going to get bumpy."

* * *

Ashley Williams was convinced that she had now survived two of the worst events in human history. The slaughter at Eden Prime, and Commander Shepard driving a Mako. In fact, she found herself glad to be disembarking from the metal death trap to enter the active supervolcano full of Geth. It would be much safer.

Then Yang had to come out smiling like a maniac. "Whoo! And here I was worried the drive would be the boring part!" it shouted, apparently immune to the basic fear for its own safety.

The krogan followed after, smiling its own reptilian way, more a grimace of a beast than a proper thing. "Yeah, compliments to Shepard. She drives better than most krogan. Rams a lot more accurately and that she can shoot worth a damn while driving is impressive enough, but both at once? I know plenty of clan chiefs that would trade an arm for a pilot like that." It figured that the aliens were too insane to realize how dangerous Shepard's driving was.

"Yeah. Say, the controls looked easy enough, think maybe I could learn to drive?" Yang asked, a look of manic excitement coming across its features.

"No!" Ashley shouted in panic, thankfully backed up by a similar outburst from Kaidan. Shepard was bad enough, and she was driving with human limitations in mind. Letting an unknown alien species that regarded such a ride as "fun" be the driver was an unacceptable idea. The amount of damage she could cause...

"Oh come on, I bet I could do a ton more damage than Shepard. Really floor it you know?"

"That is the problem." Ashley explained. "Shepard's driving is at the limits of human tolerance. You push it harder, and none of us could survive the ride."

To its credit, Yang actually stopped and thought about it, like a real human being and not some animal. Luckily, any further conversation with the thing about the possibility of it driving was interrupted by Commander Shepard exiting the vehicle. "Alright everyone, fall in. Wrex and Yang, left flank, Kaiden is with me on the right. Ashley you have point."

Ashley nodded, stepping forward with rifle at the ready, the aliens pulling out shotguns, while Kaidan pulled out his own rifle. The commander drew her own weapon, an smg, and held it at the ready. Hoping that the aliens wouldn't decide to go charging in at the first sign of trouble and block her lane of fire, Ashley led the way into the dark facility.


	6. Blue People Be Crazy

Shepard held up a fist, signaling a halt. The squad complied, though Yang took a couple seconds to realize everyone had halted before stopping herself. They'd have to go over basic hand signals with her later apparently. Signaling a wait command, Shepard activated her tactical cloak to scout forward a bit. Turning the tight corner she found what she had expected, a Geth kill team ready to ambush the squad as it came into view. Not wasting any time, Shepard popped a grenade and threw it in the room, bracing herself in the corridor. A quick bang in the enclosed space and the whir of damaged machines let her know that the move had been successful. Her cloak's timer fading out, she waited for the dust to settle before looking in. All the Geth were scrap. "All clear."

As the squad came forward, she noted that Ashley looked miffed and Yang confused. It was Ashley that spoke first. "You know Commander, as point I'm supposed to do the scouting, not the commanding officer."

"Sorry, I was trained in infiltration and sabotage. Still used to scouting out stuff like kill boxes myself." It was something she would have to get used to, trusting others to do something like this. She was the head of command here, not just the girl in charge of a squad.

Yang's reaction proved a little more entertaining. "Why didn't anyone tell me Earthlings could turn invisible? That is so cool! I take back every negative thing I ever thought about you guys because you are wimps about hot drops...including that wimp thing."

"Ah, not quite." Kaidan admitted, shifting a little nervously. He apparently was still uncomfortable explaining things to Yang after the radiation fiasco. "That's not a human trait, it's just something specialized that Shepard trained to do."

Yang nodded in understanding, though her words raised more questions than answers. "Got it, not an Earthling deal, it's Shepard's semblance. Still, invisibility is a pretty darn good one to have." Whatever a semblance was, it didn't hit the translator, meaning it was an alien concept that Shepard would have to discuss with her, along with what a cloaking field was. As the young alien kicked one of the machine heads, she asked "So, when are we going to see some of these Geth instead of their robots?"

Shepard resisted the urge to facepalm. Of course that hadn't been covered yet. "Ah, the Geth are the robots."

"Oh. So, is it a model, brand name, production line?" Yang asked, looking around. "Probably not a model seeing as these don't look like those rocket or big red guys. Oh, that means the big neck things were probably robots as well, I thought they were mechs. I guess that explains why you could ram them so brutally if they were just machines. Honestly I was feeling a bit bad for the pilots and why are you all staring at me?"

"Well, the thing is, it's just a bit shocking." Kaidan awkwardly explained, looking for someone to bail him out now that he'd started talking but finding nobody willing to bite the bullet for him. "I mean, you don't know what an atom or radiation are, but you just casually understand combat robotics and mechanized warfare?"

"What does robotics have to do with atoms or radiation?"

Shepard was about to add her own two cents when the realization hit her. Unless you were giving the robots nuclear power sources, they didn't have a damn thing in common. All you needed was mechanical and electrical engineering for the bodies and computer programming for the mind. Not one step required even knowing that an atom even so much as theoretically existed. "Well, I'm feeling a bit dumb now." Seeing everyone glance at her, she cleared her throat. "What I mean is, humans discovered atoms and radiation long before we could even begin to make crude robotics. I had assumed a similar technology level to my own species from around that time. I apologize."

"Eh, no big. You have no idea where I am so you have to make judgement calls and guess. Personally, I prefer you guys aiming a bit low so you don't accidentally assume I know something I don't and then get blown up." Yang seemed to be taking this very well. Shepard therefore resolved not to tell her how low tech she'd been thinking. Still, that did cut out the need for her to plan a lecture on what electricity was. The young alien then started shifting through the debris, puzzled. "Huh, can't seem to find the storm cells, I was hoping to salvage them."

"Ah, Yang, we can salvage stuff later, right now we need to find Doctor T'Soni." Kaiden noted, getting things back on track.

"Ah, right, science chick. Almost forgot." Falling back in place, Yang awaited the squads next action, shotgun at the ready.

"Alright, let's move out." Shepard motioned the squad forward into the depths of the facility. Storm cells, weird name for batteries but understandable. Still, the one thing she didn't understand is why Yang seemed so interested in finding their power sources? It wasn't like she could use them for anything at the moment.

* * *

Liara was bored. Then again there wasn't much else you could do when you were suspended in a stasis field fully conscious for who knows how long? Without real bodily functions or a sky to provide solar cycles, and with no clock in immediate sight range, she really had no idea how long she had been there. It could have been only a few days, or it could have been weeks, months, even years. Or it could even still be the same day and her sense of time was slowed down so much it just seemed longer. While this was technically possible, she rather doubted it. She would have to be insanely impatient if she was this bored that quickly when just in front of her was a room full of Geth trying their best to find a way to horribly murder her. The grainy haze before her from when they had tried just shooting her attested to that failure, as did the slagged remains of those Geth that had tried to access the power framework and were destroyed by the feedback. And after all that, they had spent the last few hours (days?) just standing there, apparently trying to puzzle out how to get her freed from the stasis field. So that they could kill her. "So...I don't suppose any of you learned any jokes since the last time I asked?" A hail of new bullets making the haze thicker was the mech's reply. "Ah, too bad. Maybe I could try coming up with a new one? I was never much one for jokes, but I figure that if I'm going to die young I might as well be remembered as the first asari who got a Geth to laugh." An even more determined hail was the Geth's response, almost as if desperate to keep her from telling any more of her jokes. "Ah, I think I have one! What is the difference between a shitza and a quillam? A gallon of milk!" (Thankfully, the sheer terribleness of that joke does not translate into English.)

* * *

Though Liara did not know it at the time, she had indeed accomplished something with her jokes. She had been the first asari to drive a Geth to suicide, deleting itself so it would not have to continue to hear the asari's jokes. Its companions restored its backup from six days ago, before the onslaught began. It was far kinder that way.

In fact the Geth were so desperate to end the onslaught of terrible jokes, that when the Enemy Shepard and her Enemy Crew arrived they reached a consensus to not turn on their shielding so that they would have the perfect reason to abandon the platforms in the area. For surely no force in the galaxy could be more terrible than the asari's attempts at humor. Truly, it had to be the worst sense of humor in existence, and further proof as to why all organics must be eliminated. Anything worse was too horrible to contemplate.

* * *

"Well, looks like the enemy plans went to pieces during that last scrap!" Yang said, picking up a Geth head. "Guess they just lost their heads."

"Commander, Geth shields are normally much harder to penetrate; in fact I don't think they even used their shields. I smell a trap." Ashley said, falling into a ready stance and sweeping the area.

"Good call. And Yang, just so you know, in English that was a set of horrible puns." Shepard noted, also scanning the area.

Yang rolled her eyes. "I know. I spent like fifteen minutes on the omni-tool database learning robot puns in English so I could set it up once I realized we were fighting bots. Totally worth it."

Everyone else just stared at her. "You spent the entire ride over here looking up robot puns in English, just so you could...that doesn't even...what?" Kaidan simply could not find the words to express what he was feeling at the moment.

"That has got to be the worst time management ever." Ashley, on the other hand, had no trouble finding words to describe her displeasure.

As Yang started going through the Geth, trying to find their storm cells for any scavengable dust, she just smiled. "Well you know what they say, a good pun is its own reword." She frowned as she continued to be unable to find any storm cells. She had been hoping to convert the dust into some shells, she only had two sets of spare belts left, and if it was there you might as well use it right? She was pretty sure she remembered how to convert them into shock shot anyway. Ah well, she could always experiment a bit. If she could find those god damned storm cells!

"Oh, I think I got that one!" came a new voice.

Looking up, Yang saw what looked to be a blue lady suspended midair in some sort of energy field past a lot of grey dust. "Oh right, the science person. I forgot." she joked.

"How can you forget? Do you have any ability to remember mission objectives!?" Ashley was apparently at her wits end.

"Well sorry if Huntress missions tend to be "go here and kill the thing" or "go here and kill several things". Rescue operations are not our lien line, this is new territory for me." Really, it was way too easy to mess with Ashley. Turning to face the blue girl, Yang smiled. "Hi there Professor Lira Tea and Honey!"

"Doctor Liara T'Soni." Shepard corrected, seemingly bemused by all of this.

"Hi there Liara! You're the first person I've been sent on a mission to NOT kill. Lucky you! So, what's up with the energy field?"

"...well I figured I would go insane from being trapped here for days, but I didn't think it would manifest like this. It's almost like you're all of my repressed youthful energy made manifest. And the angry one is almost a physical manifestation of my mother's disapproval of my lifestyle. The other one seems to be my analytical side, and the human male seems to represent my biotic training." Liara blinked a little. "I'm not sure why you are all human though, why one of you is male, and I have no clue what the krogan is supposed to represent."

Yang looked over at the others. "Soooo is this normal blue person behavior, or is this freaking out the Earthlings too?"

"I'm calling them Earthlings. I cannot believe my subconscious is that racist."

Yang was shocked, and turned her full attention to her non-floating companions. Especially the...other humans. "Wait, that's a slur? Holy shit why did you guys not tell me I was using a slur?" She was so agitated her aura started flaring, and she was in no state of mind to try calming it down.

* * *

"You didn't mean it in a negative way, and you were trying to figure out what to call us due to translation issues. It's only been three days, and you had no way of knowing. We're not mad about it." Shepard said, trying to calm the girl down, her eyes and hair glowing. If she didn't know better, she'd almost swear...no small wisps of flame were coming off of the alien's hair.

" But that's, no ignorance is no excuse. No, it's even worse! You should have told me right away so I could figure out something else to use! I mean, I must have sounded horrible, like some poacher extremist talking about faunus. That's just...I feel sick." Yang had stopped glowing and was now hugging herself, apparently trying to calm down from almost exploding, possibly even literally if the flame had been any indication. If anything she looked outright shaken from the revelation.

Shepard wasn't sure what hunting endangered animals had to due with slurs, but figured it was probably cultural. She still remembered the first time she'd heard a turian refer to someone as "being faceless" and the confusion that resulted from the seemingly nonsensical random statement. If there was enough cultural weight to the situation to have an obtuse idiom that people were just supposed to know, it was a big deal. Bigger than Shepard had anticipated when she did finally break it to Yang.

She made a quick mental note that Yang might be part of a discriminated minority on her world and subject to slurs herself. This was definitely something to look into later, but right now it was a distraction. "Kaidan, go talk her down? I need to focus right now." Seeing the man snap off a salute and head over to Yang, Shepard turned to face Doctor T'Soni. "So, since you said you're trapped and there seems to be a carpet of bullets trying to kill you, I'm guessing this field isn't easy to turn off."

"No. The controls to do so are behind me, past the impassible energy barrier." she responded. Seeing the look on Shepard's face, she continued "Yes, it is the nasty bit of logical paradox. I assume this is some sort of impassible trap the Protheans designed, and we're on the side the trap was meant to catch. It wouldn't be much of a trap if the intruders could disarm it after all. Also, I've decided that your group is real and not a hallucination. Either that or I've gone completely mad and my subconscious should be a soap opera writer. Let me guess, she was raised by aliens and has no idea of human culture?"

"Ah...not quite. She's just a member of an unknown alien race that just looks human." Shepard admitted absentmindedly, mostly focused on finding a way through this puzzling situation.

"Oh, you are hallucinations, shame. I guess that also explains the glowing hair and fire. Still, if I survive this and therapy goes well, I seem to have a chance at a promising career as a screenwriter. That would be the sort of twist no one would see coming."

Shepard wasn't too sure of what to make of the fact that the crazy person though her story was too weird to be true.


	7. Inside an Exploding Volcano!

**_/AN: Special Drinking Game Chapter! Every time someone mentions an exploding volcano, take a shot!/_**

* * *

Kaidan must have done something really bad to tick Shepard off if she was giving him suicide orders. Oh sure a mission to calm down an upset girl didn't seem that bad on the surface, but when one realized that the girl in question had casually ripped a medical bed out of its moorings and threw it across the room in an earlier emotional fit, one could empathize with how screwed Kaidan was. It also didn't help that he never really was able to find a way to bond with Yang. The only real times he ever interacted with her before the mission was during the jerky incident and his own spectacular failure of an attempt to explain biotics. Heck, Ashley probably had more of a connection with Yang after the training session, and she hated aliens. Bracing himself, he walked up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

Yang turned to face him, thankfully with blue eyes, with a moderately serious expression visible on her face beyond the helmet's face screen. "Yeah, I'm calmed down. But I am going to have to have a serious talk with Shepard about this. This sort of thing is not acceptable."

"Um, what?" Kaidan wasn't able to follow Yang's train of thought. Most people would expect that kind of reaction from the victim of a slur and not the person who was using them. Then again, a lot of the things Yang did seemed ass backwards to him at times. Advanced robotic warfare that was less than a century old made more sense to her than basic particle physics that had stood for centuries. Automatic weaponry didn't herald the end of melee on her world, and instead was more of a novelty while the really impressive thing was a good sword or the like. She could understand and interact with multiple species without any disconnect, but had trouble remembering what she could safely eat. If Kaidan had been in her situation, he knew that he'd be doing everything in just about the opposite direction. So why not reverse reactions to awkward social situations if she was going to flip the world upside down?

"I know it wasn't her intention, but that made me look bad. I'm just glad I didn't do it with the general crew, they would have thought I was a horrible person. Shepard is so getting an earful for this."

"Ah, she was just trying to give you a chance to adjust without having to worry about a lot of things. She knew you had a lot on your plate, what with getting up to date with the galaxy, and like she said you didn't mean anything by it. Nobody is blaming you."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Yang got in his face. "Listen, I am not some little girl you need to hold the hand of and treat me like I'm made of glass or something. If I am doing something wrong I am trusting you guys to call me out on it." She gave Kaidan what was no doubt to her a mild shove that almost knocked him over. "Not telling me I was going around making an ass of myself? That's a violation of my trust that you guys are doing your best to make sure I don't do something stupid. I'm a big girl. If I am doing something wrong, you should just freaking tell me. I mean if the crew found out, I doubt "oh, it was just coincidental ignorance" would exactly fly with most of them. I'm already probably freaking them out big time. I do not need to hand them ammo for an Anti-Yang club, I have to live with these people."

Kaidan winced. Viewed that way, yeah Yang had a right to be pissed. It was almost like they were deliberately sabotaging her while treating her like a child who didn't know any better. It was actually vaguely insulting and Kaidan was pretty sure he'd be furious too if he felt that he was being patronized. "Ah, I never viewed it like that. I just saw it as more info we'd have to dump on you to bring you up to speed at some point. I never really thought about how to sort the info or what was high priority. It never occurred to me that something like that would be a real problem for you. I'm sorry I was dense."

Yang let out a long breath, her body relaxing by several degrees. "I'm not mad at you, but thanks. This situation is new for everyone, so I can see where mistakes might be made. Let's just, let's just table this for later. But after the mission I am definitely going to have a sit down with Shepard."

As they walked back towards the group, Kaidan was so relieved to get out of that confrontation intact that he forgot to tell Yang that she should address her commanding officer as Commander Shepard, not by just her name. Then again, Yang probably wouldn't have listened if he had.

* * *

Once Yang came back in with Kaidan, Shepard laid out the problem. "Alright, apparently this is some sort of Prothean trap. Anything that enters the field is stopped and held suspended in a stasis field. The walls are highly energized, as evidenced by the melted Geth that tried to mess with them, and Doctor T'Soni thinks we're too weird to be real so she won't offer any help. Any suggestions people?"

"So, if we can't go through the door without getting trapped or the wall without getting fried, why not the floor or the ceiling?" Yang asked. "Also, I'm blaming Ashley for the weirdness for triggering the girl's mother issues." The death glare she got from the girl was worth it to hear Wrex's deep rumbling laugh. At least somebody had a sense of humor. Really, it's like nobody on the Normandy knew how to appreciate a good joke.

* * *

On the bridge of the Normandy, Joker sneezed. Thankfully it was a light sneeze so he only bruised his ribs slightly, but still. Odd time for a sneeze. Still, he'd live, and that was nothing to sneeze at. That was a good one, he'd have to remember it for later.

* * *

Liara was quite bored. The hallucinatory humans had vanished, the Geth hadn't come back (for some reason their illusory debris remained), and now she didn't even have anything visual to distract herself. "Next thing you know I'll start talking to myself like a crazy person….darn it. Ah well at least I can keep myself entertained until a real rescue comes….wow I am very boring. No wonder nobody wants to talk to me, I can't even keep a conversation going with myself."

It was then that a loud rumbling sound, mixed with grinding machinery, burning lasers, and falling rocks came from behind her, lasting several seconds before stilling. Several grunting sounds came from behind, as did a sudden exclamation of "Okay, the drill was faster than blasting our way in, I concede."

"How big of you to acknowledge something that has already happened and been proven Yang." That sounded like the angry one

"Oh get a room you two...what? If human media has taught me anything, fighting like that comes before passionate mating." the deep rumbling of a krogan noted.

"What, seriously? Look Ashley if I've been giving you the wrong signals I apologize but"

"Those are comedies! The joke is that relationships DON'T work like that! I cannot believe I am having to explain the idea of a romantic comedy to two aliens!"

The happy one seemed amused. "Really? Our romantic comedies involve a bungling nice guy that tries to pretend to be a suave, skilled, rich guy and a wacky convoluted plan to win over the girl of his dreams with the deception."

"Krogan don't really have romantic comedies. More like tragedies. And lots of them."

Liara blinked. "Excuse me, are you telling me you got around the Prothean trap?"

"Yes, we did." Ah, the leader one. "Listen, could you tell us how to get you down now? I'd rather not stay here all day discussing species movie trends." A loud rumbling could be heard and dust started falling from the ceiling. "Okay, now we really need to hurry."

Liara made a snap decision, trust them fully. If they were real, they were her best chance of getting out of here. If they weren't, it would be more entertaining than the stasis field. "Alright, there should be a large console with several flashing characters. Press the flashing orange one, that should turn off the field."

"Found it." the biotic noted, and suddenly Liara was falling.

* * *

Shepard raced over to the asari, picking her up off the ground, seeing the shock in her eyes. "Surprise, we're real. Now let's get you out of here before the volcano explodes." Putting her in a shoulder carry, she motions for the rest of her team to move. "Let's go people, none of us want to be inside an exploding volcano." Activating her coms, she buzzed Joker. "Normandy, this is Shepard. We have Doctor T'Soni but the volcano is about to blow. I need pick up as close as you can get it."

"On it Commander. You know I've heard of a hot drop, but never a hot pickup. Going to make Alliance history with this one." Joker''s voice came back over the channel.

"We're going to be history if you don't hurry it up!" Yang shouted on her own com. "And that'd be pretty ironic at a historical dig."

"Yes it would. One dramatic rescue, eta three minutes."

"Alright people let's move before" turning a corner, Shepard came face to face with about two dozen Geth accompanied by a krogan. "Before that happens. Great." Slipping off Liara and moving her back a bit, Shepard raised her own weapon. "Alright back off, we have her and we're taking her with us. Unless you're willing to risk fighting inside an exploding volcano?" She really hoped they weren't willing to fight in an exploding volcano.

"Ahhh, but think how much grander my story will be when I tell of the time I defeated a Specter inside an exploding volcano." the krogan said with a sneer, his own oversized shotgun at the ready. Apparently he was willing to fight in an exploding volcano.

Well crap.

* * *

"I call the whelp!" Wrex shouted before wrapping himself in energy and slamming into the other krogan with velocity just short of a bullet...that just happens to weigh in at just under a ton.

As Yang saw the other krogan get back up from that, and if Wrex was right his opponent wasn't that impressive by krogan standards, she was forced to admit that krogan were badass. She'd probably have needed twice as long to get back up from that hit, and she was a Huntress. Well, in training, but there was no way she'd tell them that. She'd managed to pick up some stuff about the rest of the team, either from talking to them or listening to general gossip. Garrus, Kaiden, and Ashley were all apparently military vets, and Garrus had detective training on top of that while Kaiden was also a biotic. Which is a big deal from what she can understand about the freaky space magic. She didn't know what Wrex and Tali's deals were, but Wrex was clearly a badass. Deciding to pad her resume a bit was probably the only reason Shepard was willing to take Yang along.

Well if that were the case no sense risking loosing her status as a badass. "Hey, I wanted the krogan! No fair! Ah well, dibs on the robots!" Drawing out a second of their space shotguns, everyone seemed surprised when she packed two, and went to work.

* * *

Shepard had to admit, watching Yang fight was almost beautiful, in a suicidal sort of way. In that she charged straight at the enemy Geth to get her shotguns past their barriers before firing. Yes, shotguns, as in plural. It seems that guns built with human level recoil in mind didn't even phase Yang who did a sideways flip and shoot several times as though she was in some action movie. Shepard had to remember not to just stare and watch, or reach for some popcorn, as she instead had to help thin the number of Geth before they focused fire and slaughtered Yang. Whipping her machine pistol into line, she blasted out what was essentially a lethal sandstorm of metal grains at one, quickly overwhelming its barriers before shredding it. That was the thing about barriers, multiple close together hits wrecked them faster than singular powerful hits. Ashley and Kaidan's rifles barked out their own reply as they focused fire on a rocket trooper, having realized a missile in these conditions would be catastrophic.

The firefight continued for almost a full minute, Shepard's gun overheating near the end. Ashley had great fire discipline but even hers was hitting critical. Kaiden was the best off as he used his biotics on occasion, giving his guns time to cool. Both of Yang's shotguns were overheated. Her response had been to grab a destroyed Geth and use it to smash the last two to pieces. "I think we got them all. It was a...smash hit."

"Yang, just, no I already have to deal with Joker." Feeling that headache coming back, Shepard turned just in time to witness the finale of the krogan duel.

* * *

"Face it old man, you're too ancient to keep fighting anymore!" the idiotic whelp bragged, firing off another blast from his shotgun, taking out Wrex's shields.

Wrex's doesn't mind, shields aren't that useful in melee, and he'd been pounding the young fool's face in this whole fight while the idiot had kept on firing, having to get through the shields before he could do any damage. For all his shouting and bragging, he hadn't really been that good a fight. The young are always overconfident. There was a reason so few lived to be anywhere near as old as Wrex.

"Shut up." Wrex shouted, unleashing another biotic charge and slamming the young fool into a weak wall, sticking him there for a couple seconds. Just long enough for Wrex to pull out his own shotgun and blast the spot on the ceiling he'd noticed a while ago.

"Hah! You missed by a kilometer old man!"

Wrex just smirked and pointed up. The kid looked up just in time to get a face-full of lava. "Wasn't aiming for your shields idiot."

Seeing Shepard grab the package and getting her moving, Wrex lead the charge out of the volcano. Of course only a kid would have been dense enough to fight inside an exploding volcano. He sighed as he mentally ticked the countdown to his people's extinction down by one. Then Yang was running next to him. He saw some parts of the girl's fight. She was good. "Guess you showed Shepard huh? Nice moves kid."

"Thanks." Yang sounded unusually thoughtful. "Hey, are you really old by krogan standards?"

"I'm positively ancient. You want to make something of it?"

"Absolutely not. We've got a saying back home, beware old huntsmen. There's a reason they're old."

Wrex raised an eye ridge. Yang was alright. Smart enough to now that experience made one just more dangerous as time went on. And at over nine hundred years old, Wrex had plenty of time on his side. Even if his race didn't.

* * *

"Alright people move we need to get to the Normandy..." Shepard could only stare as they left the facility. "Which is parked right in front of us with the ramp already down." Switching on the mike she continued "Joker, you are getting a 'best pilot' mug for this. And a commendation."

"Great, I'll put it with all the others. But hey, a coffee mug, that's new!" came Joker's reply as the squad rand aboard, Doctor T'Soni in tow. As the doors closed after them, the volcano finally blew, streams of lava and hot ash flying through the air as Joker made the Normandy dance under his fingers until they finally breached atmosphere and were safe. "And I don't think I even scratched the paint. You all okay in there?"

Picking herself and the doctor up, Shepard noticed that Yang and Wrex were the only ones not knocked off their feet, but otherwise everyone was fine. "Yeah, we're good."

Looking around, Yang started laughing, apparently from sheer adrenaline rush. "So, that was a thing. My God I freaking love space! Whooo!"

Laughing herself, Shepard looked around, and her laughter died. "Joker, where is my Mako?"

"Ahhh, well, the thing is...we didn't have time to pick both it and you up in time, so I made a judgement call. If you wanted my to go the other way, I'll remember it for next time."

"Well, you just lost yourself the coffee mug for that snark."

"Ahh well, it figures I shouldn't be joking after pulling you out of a situation too hot to handle." came Joker's reply over the ships speakers.

Shepard just groaned, and then noticed Yang, helmet removed, with the biggest grin of all time on her face. "Yeah, the party down there was a real blow out."

Oh no.

"Well I'm sorry you didn't get to have a hot time tonight." Joker replied, testing the waters.

"Yeah we'll, I've been called smoking hit before, but I didn't want it to be literal!" Yang's replies cementing Shepard's fear.

There were two of them.

It is often said that in space, no one can hear you scream. This is because space is a vacuum, and as such sound cannot travel through it. Though if it could, few would doubt that the Council would be able to hear their newest Spectre's cry of anguish.

**Learning Curveball End.**

* * *

_**/AN: And with that the first story arc is done! I'll be going back and doing edited versions of the previous chapters this weekend, and then next week should kick off the next arc. Featuring such exciting things as:**_

_*** Citadel Elevators!**_

_*** Conrad Verner!**_

_*** Dust!**_

_*** Politics!**_

_*** Theology!**_

_*** Puns!**_


	8. Space Traffic or The Elevator Menace

**Master and Apprentice Start**

The last couple days had been quite dramatic for Liara. First of all, there was the hectic rescue from the clutches of the Geth on Therum which was stressful enough, not even figuring in the exploding volcano at the end. But on top of that, she learned her mother had for some reason seemed to throw her lot in with a genocidal ex-Spectre named Saren who was obsessed with the Protheans. And to top it all off, the human Commander Shepard believed in the Reaper theory, because restoring the Reapers who were responsible for the extinction of the Protheans seemed to be Saren's insane goal. So all in all it had been a lousy week. Her mother was the evil sidekick of a super villain whose evil master plan validated Liara's extinction theory in the worst possible way.

Still there were a couple of bright spots. For now her theories would be taken seriously, though how this mission pans out would affect if they continued to be so. In addition, she was now in the presence of somebody with a Prothean archive jammed into their brain, and the possibilities there couldn't be ignored. Shepard seemed hesitant to accept her offer of a meld to try and sort out the information, but that was understandable. There was a tendency for other races to only view melds in terms of reproduction, as that was what they knew of best. Liara could just wait until Shepard was more comfortable with the idea.

As she sat alone and ate her sandwich, her personal time was still quite messed up from her time in stasis and it was well past midnight ship time, her private thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, revealing Yang in her borrowed nightgown. As surprised as she was to see Yang, Yang seemed much more nervous to see her. "Yang, what are you still doing up? Did I wake you?" She thought she had been quiet, it would be quite rude if she woke up one of her rescuers.

"Oh no no no, not at all." Yang assured her, before moving to the fridge. "Just a bit of hunger for the late night munches...and Garrus hid all the food. Not cool." Slamming the fridge closed, she slumped in a chair across from the young asari scientist. "Just because I eat more than lizard boy he goes and hides the goods."

Liara was confused for a few moments before realization dawned on her. "Oh, I forgot you're dextro-amino. It's hard to remember you're not human."

"You think you have it bad? I'm surrounded by aliens that look like me that eat poison and picked the exact same word for their species as mine." Seeing Liara's shocked look, Yang explained. "See, it seems out of all the possible words in the universe we could have used, we both wound up calling our species human. My word for fish sounds like I'm mispronouncing some moon in their solar system, and I nearly wound up slapping Kaiden before Ashley explained that on Earth Brisbane is the name of a freaking city. We spent like two hours rigging up some stuff after that to prevent any profanity slips. And as vastly different as our moon to fish language is, we both wound up using the word human." Leaning back in her chair untill she was staring the ceiling, she sighed. "I swear, it's like the universe hates me sometimes. Probably should have spent more time at temple."

"You're religious?" Liara asked, gentle curiosity evident in her voice. She really didn't know much about Yang she had to admit. And now that she thought about it, she didn't know much about Yang's people either. Yang had been learning about the galaxy, but what had the galaxy bothered learning about Yang?

"Eh, not really. I'm saying I think that's part of the problem. It feels like somebody up there decided they don't like me. I mean, everything that's just piling up from me just being here, before you get into the crazy robot battles, is stressful enough. And then you throw in the poison mirror humans, and it just gets to be...gaaah! I feel like I'm just going to explode sometimes, this is so frustrating and confusing...sorry I'm venting."

"No no, it's fine. I know how stress can mess with your head." Liara assured her. "I wasn't in the best state of mind after having Geth working to kill me for sixteen days straight. Sometimes you just need to find a moment of peace to relax and not worry about the fact that your mother is working with a genocidal super villain."

"My mom abandoned me like a week after I was born...we think. She left me on Dad's porch and nobody's seen her since. Nobody knows the exact day I was born." Yang flopped forward, looking down as she just lay her body upon the table. "Our moms suck."

Liara put her sandwich down. She didn't feel like eating now. "You know what, forget this. Wait here." Getting up, she went over to a different cabinet, examining some bottles before bringing two back to the table, setting glasses next to them. "Here, this one's dextro. I say we drink until we stop thinking about our mothers and the stress stops trying to kill us."

"I'll drink to that." Yang said, downing a glass with only a slight wince. "Little dry, I prefer fruitier mixes. I probably get that from Mom, Dad likes his straight..." poring herself an even larger glass, Yang took another shot. "Take two."

"I never knew my father. Mother had a falling out of some sort." Taking her own shot, Liara hardly flinched. She'd had hard alcohol plenty of times in her life. She poured herself another measure, though she would be hard pressed to keep up with Yang who had already downed her third full glass.

* * *

"So yeah, I almost get my sister killed trying to find my good for nothing mom, all cause I wanted a normal family. I wanted a mom and the one I thought I had wasn't really mine. Now, now if I found her I'd just want to punch her in the face."

"You know, my mother had to know something was up. I normally message her weekly, or else she pesters me until I respond. She had to know what was going on. She didn't care that I was being shot at by killer robots."

"Well looks like it's take...twelve?"

"I think we're on twelve yeah."

* * *

"You know, you're very blue. Blue is a very pretty color."

"Thank you. I like your hair. It's shiny. Like gold. Shiny gold hair."

"Yeah my hair is great. The bottles are almost empty. We should finish them up, so it doesn't go to waste because it didn't all get used up till it was empty."

"That makes sense."

* * *

Joker smiled as he snapped the picture on his omnitool. This was too perfect. He'd gotten up late to go to the bathroom, and had decided to swing by the kitchen for a late night snack before he carefully lowers himself back into his specially cushioned bed, and what should he find? Liara and Yang passed out drunk in each other's arms, the end result of what appears to have been a drunk make out session that sadly didn't get much further or else he'd have even better blackmail material. He'd find some use for it after they hit the Citadel in a few hours. He'd have probably thought of something for Yang to do by then.

* * *

"So what will you not do anymore?" Shepard asked, a good deal louder than was necessary.

Yang, wincing and wishing she had her sunglasses and some earplugs, groaned. "Drink like mad a few hours before a mission or meeting."

"To be fair Shepard, it was my idea. Both of us were highly stressed at the time, and I figured a few drinks would help us relax. I...underestimated how much we'd wind up drinking before we started to feel better."

Massaging her forehead, Shepard sighed. She'd been getting plenty of headaches lately from her crews more...colorful members. She supposed she'd have to either adapt or burn out. "Liara, Yang has to present herself to Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina in less than three hours at a meeting to discuss her status and position with my crew. I do not have time for her to have a hangover." Shepard smiled a little as the two winced. Yeah, she wasn't lowering her volume anytime soon.

Groaning, Yang drank another tall glass of water. "I get it, I messed up. I'm already helping flush out my systems, I'll be fine by the meeting...I still need to shower don't I?" the blond noted, realizing she was still in her borrowed nightgown. "Ahh, I'll get on that. Gonna need time to wash my hair...can we claim we were late due to space traffic?"  
Shepard found herself massaging her forehead yet again.

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't give me time to wash my hair." Yang groused. Sure she'd had time to do a quick rinse with water, but she hadn't had a chance to give it a full wash for a couple of days. It wasn't a mantle of golden silk anymore, just a head of shining golden hair. While for many that would be the result of intensive care and professional aid, for Yang it was a step down. She didn't even had anything formal to wear, just her clubbing outfit she had arrived at the Citadel in. "I mean we have half an hour till the meeting, and according to the map on this wrist computer thing it shouldn't even take half of that to walk there." She glared at Shepard, her only companion. The rest of the crew had scattered off to do various tasks or have downtime, something Yang was looking forward to doing herself. She seriously needed to get some of her own cloths if nothing else, and Shepard had offered to give her a five hundred credit loan to get her basic supplies together. She wasn't sure how much that was, but it sounded like a decent amount.

"Okay Yang, three things. One, it's your own fault for sleeping in so late with a hangover. Two, I'd like to arrive a little early in order to make a good impression. And three, your time estimate did not account for that." Shepard concluded by pointing to one of her most dreaded banes. The Horror of the Citadel, the Ruiner of Schedules, and the Demon of Boredom.

"...Shepard I figured we'd be taking an elevator, we have them back home." Yang noted, not getting what the big deal was.

"You don't understand Yang. This isn't just any elevator. This is a Citadel elevator. People have spent thousands of work hours figuring out alternate routes to avoid them. People will literally forgo non-emergency trips if they must take one of these things. I think somewhere in Zerka Ward there is a cult which literally classified these elevators as the source of all evil in the galaxy. You're just lucky that you managed to avoid them on your first trip. But for security reasons, you have to take an elevator to reach the embassy area."

"...okay now I know you're messing with me." Yang smirked, entering the elevator with an exaggerated eye roll. How bad could it be?

* * *

Ten minutes later the doors of the elevator opened...or at least started to before Yang smashed them off their hinges in a bid to escape, charging out into the garden square in desperation for a couple yards before collapsing in a panting heap. Shepard found she didn't have the heart to berate her though, considering what they had just learned.

For Yang's species, it turns out that Muzak isn't boring elevator filler. Instead, it hits just the right frequencies to serve as audial torture. According to Yang it had been "like stubbing your toe repeatedly, but with your ears". Shepard wasn't sure if it was the lingering affects of the hangover that had caused the mess, or if that had only made it worse. Reaching the alien to check that she was alright, Shepard found a pair of glowing demonic eyes staring back at her.

"Shepard, I don't care how many laws I have to break. I am never getting in one of those things again. You're a Spectre, you said you can do just about anything right? Well, do something about it."

"Welcome to the Presidium. May I be of assistance?" the Citadel's VI chirped, oblivious to the mood of the two women in front of it.

Looking at Yang, Shepard sighed once again. "Yes, could you let Ambassador Udina know that his ten o'clock appointment will be a bit late." Helping Yang up, she assisted her over to a bench to sit down and recover.

"And if the ambassador asks for clarification as to the cause of the delay?" the hologram inquired.

Looking at Yang, Shepard broke out into the biggest grin she'd had in a while as she turned around and said with a totally straight face "Space traffic."


End file.
